/DIVORCED FATHER>

anak, pag uwi mo ibigay mo sa nanay mo tong cheke

at sabihin mo 18 yo kana, huling tseke na makukuha nya

for child support tapos tingnan mo expression ng face nya.



/ANAK>


mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sa'yo tong tseke,

last na daw yan kasi 18 na daw ako, pagkatapos

tingnan ko daw expression ng face mo.




/MOM>

sa susunod na pag bisita mo sa kanya

sabihin mo salamat sa suporta kahit hndi mo sya tatay,


tapos tingnan mo expression ng face nya.....





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Misis: Honey sino ba itong Baby na nagtitext sayo.

Mister: Ah Kumpare ko yan, Baby lang talaga ang pangalan nya.

Misis: O eto ang text sayo, hinde daw kayo tuloy kasi may regla siya.






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misis:

Lintik na sabon to ayaw bumula!!!..



mister:

panu bubula yan?...

hindi naman basa katawan mo, tanga!!!....



misis:

Xempre!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
for dry skin 'to
bobo!!!...





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para sa may mga naghahanap ng trabaho...

Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"

Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"





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para sa mga bibili ng bahay...

Why did johnny shoot his wife when he bought a house?

Because the contract reads: 'Execute all 3 copies together with your wife...