An Arab Sheikh was admitted to the Philippine Heart Center in Manila for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out to a number of provinces.

Finally an Ilocano was located who had a similar type of blood. The Ilocano willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Ilocano as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Toyota Prado, diamonds, jewelry, and a million US dollars.

Once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Ilocano who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Ilocano a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.

The Ilocano was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: “I thought that you would be generous again, that you would again give me aToyota Prado, Money, Diamonds and Jewelry...but you only gave me a thank you card and a jar of Almond sweets”.

To this, the Arab replied:

“Manong...I now have Ilocano blood in my veins.”





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Pasyente visit a doctor for a check up.

Doctor: anong problema?

Pasyente:paki-check lang po itong "ari" ko.


Doctor: Ok,hubo' para makita..

Nang makita "ito" ng doctor,napatawa ng malakas ang doctor,dahil singlaki lang ito ng
AAA size na battery.

Pasyente:nasaan po yong code of ethics nyo? Hindi dapat pagtawanan ang isang pasyente.

Doctor(trying to recover):Sori,di na maulit.Anong problema?

Pasyente: Ito nga po,"namamaga"







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At a Megalink ATM:
“oof line” (ha-ha-ha nakita ko 'to!)

On a wall in Laloma street, a sign says
“huli ihi, putol titi”

Nakasulat sa pader:
“marunong ka bang kumahol? Aso lang ang umiihi dito!”

Along a highway in Pampanga:
“we make modern antique furniture”

On a self-service restaurant in Cebu:
“please help our comfort room clean”

In a Baguio grocery:
“fresh frozen chicken sold here”

On a house beside an auto repair shop:
“no parking and repair here”

Signs at philcoa:
“no crossing pedestrians will be apprehended”

In Baguio Country Club:
“temporary close”

In Cubao:
“none id nothing entry”

On a parking lot:
“taxi and outside car not allowed”

Office Clinic in Sta. Cruz:
“DR. Sakim a. Morge. MD”

Along Luneta Boulevard:
“bawal tumae sa bulevard”

On Jeepney and Bus signs:
“before pay, tell where get the on before get the off”

On a Flower shop in Rizal Avenue:
“we sell artificial fresh flowers”

On a delivery truck:
“not for here”

On window of a restaurant in Baguio:
“wanted: boy waitress”

On a street in San Juan:
“bawal magtapon ng binalot na tae rito”

A graffiti inside the cubicle of a ladies' C.R. in a university:
“please don't sit like a frog, sit like a queen.”

At a men's comfort room, above a urinal:
“hawak mo ang kinabukasan ng bayan”

On a truck:
“kung nababasa mo 'TO, PAG-nautot ako maaamoy mo"

At a construction site in Mandaluyong:
“bawal omehi dito. Ang maholi bog-BOG”

Somewhere along San Andres:
“no urinating, on the over walls”

On a vacant lot near Makati Ave.:
“DON't parking”

At an eatery in Cebu:
“we hab sopdrink in can and in batol!”

At a store somewhere in Pangasinan:
“we sell robber shoes”

And this is the best of them all!!!

On a building somewhere in the Philippines.....
“notary public tumatanggap din ng labada kung linggo”




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Namatay ang isang mister na babaero. Sa requiem mass, sinabi ng pari patungkol sa namatay, "An honest man, a good man, a family man" et cetera.
Binulungan ng biyuda ang panganay na anak, Pakisilip nga ang kabaong kung ang daddy mo nga ang nasa loob!"




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promdi: 'Lam ko promdi lang ako kaya wag mo kong lolokohin! Bakit ganito ang kwarto ko?!?! Maliit, wala pang kama at bintana..... ha?!?!
roomboy: Sir, nasa elevator pa lang po tayo...