Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!

Nanay: Bakit mo naman nasabi?

Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!...




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Before marriage.....

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.






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Juan: Pre, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay kaming kumain. Ngayong mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pre!






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Pasahero: Pare, pakibaba naman ako pagdating sa Ortigas
Konduktor: Aba pare, sasabihin ko na lang sa yo... mukhang ang bigat-bigat mo eh





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Tanong: What is the world's number 1 anti-dandruff shampoo?
Manny Pacquiao: Hidden Soldiers!